Encouraging the Development of the Different and Explaining Xenos

 The prevailing cultures in which we live have been sold the idea that there is a "perfect" person.  This idea pervades every aspect of our lives and is defined by corporations, government, media, and ourselves.  These things set the boundary (that black one in the picture) where people are expected to live within.  You, with the help of all the institutions we create to service or rule us, are expected to fill in the defined space (the rose colored stuff) and be a competent, useful person, as society defines this.  Are you not smart enough?  You need more school.  Are you not rich enough?  You need to get a better job.  Can you not hear music in your ears everywhere you go?  You need an mp3 player!  These are a few of the numerous expectations that society has for you and to be a good member of society you are expected to meet them all as an adult.

Society's expectations of what a person should be can be compared with a cookie cutter (the black line).  People are expected to fill that cookie cutter completely, which is what a lot of people call being "well-rounded".  The ideal goal in our society is to be well rounded, which is to have some ability or interest in all acceptable and anticipated areas and no serious deficits anywhere.  Our society assumes that nearly everyone has (or should have) sufficient dough (or ability) to fill in the established cookie cutter expectations.

There are some people who don't seem to have enough ability to meet society's expectations.  This is like having too little dough available to fill up the cookie cutter form. Society has a label for that problem:  disability.

As a disabled person, you are deficient somewhere and that is a problem for everyone.  Other people feel badly about the fact that your cookie cutter is not filled in everywhere and they want to “help”.  Society has decided to form entire industries for the purpose of trying to make disabled people more "perfect".

Our society has decided that there is one way to fix disabled people: remediation.  If you cannot fill in the cookie cutter society has designed, outside help is required in the form of medicine, psychology, therapy, and other interventions.  The goal is still to make a person well-rounded, but if that cannot be accomplished, the most important thing is to make the person “look” more round to outside observers.  If a disabled person is good at something, it is often ignored in favor of working very hard to address the things a person is not good at.  Essentially, remediation is an attempt to steal dough from “unwanted” places to fill in blank spots within cookie-cutter expectations.


There is an interesting sort of person that we will call Xenos.  It is an ancient Greek term for a stranger or alien (to one's village). These people are obviously very different from "perfect" people, much like the disabled are different.  For the most part, a Xenos person would have the same amount of ability as the "perfect" person, it is just distributed differently.  A Xenos is someone who focuses on one facet of life, often has greater than normal ability and interest in it, and typically has shortcomings in other areas of life.  This person is often called "obsessive".  For the Xenos, this obsessive nature is inherited and cannot really be eliminated, though it can be hidden by "behavioral training" or “healing” obvious and socially-disquieting quirks out of a person.

Fortunately for everyone, these Xenos people can often learn to steer their obsessive abilities toward interests that make the world a better place.  It was Xenos-type people who created industrialization, telephones, the light bulb, radio, television, nuclear energy, computers, and ultimately iPods and iPhones, as examples.  No one can doubt that people like Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Bill Gates are pretty obsessive and odd and were able to do things that normal people cannot do or would have never thought of doing.  Thankfully, many people were willing to ignore Einstein's unkempt hair and interesting mannerisms and focus instead on his theory of relativity!

Unfortunately for the Xenos, society doesn't like obsessiveness particularly.  It gets in the way of making people well-rounded.  Society's institutions (think about schools as an example) are designed to produce and service people whose ability and interests fit into the established societal cookie cutter.  A Xenos person will have serious problems and cause serious problems when faced with a world (such as ours) that is heavily and inflexibly oriented toward institutional well-roundedness.

You can see in the picture above that there is some dough outside the black line.  This is the indication of someone obsessively pursuing an interest or ability beyond what is considered normal and acceptable.  To make up for things required to follow an obsession, material is missing from other facets of life.  Often, the Xenos person is poor at mundane everyday tasks like hygiene and may lack common sense or common manners.  In a typical Xenos, the basic dough (or level of interest or ability) is roughly the same as (or greater than that) in a "perfect" person; it is just distributed differently, some of it outside of the cookie cutter definition of what is normal and acceptable.

Our society grows more and more myopic and can only see value in what is considers to be normal and (frankly) profitable. If you were to cover over the dough that is outside the black circle in the picture, the Xenos person looks just like the disabled person - someone who doesn't have their cookie cutter filled in. To most people, a Xenos person is considered disabled, being practically unable to see ability outside of the boundaries of social normalcy.

It is important to remember that society controls not only the way things are done but the institutions created to do and run things. There is really only one cookie-cutter definition of normal and there is really only one established way of dealing with things that are not normal: remediation. Therefore, Xenos people end up being put through the same people, institutions, and processes that disabled people face. "Johnny, I want you to stop designing the next Mars rover and sit with the therapist and practice blowing your nose properly. It is much more important to fit in with the other kids than it is to win the Nobel Prize in physics."

Most disability professionals would excitedly attack that unsightly blob of "wasted" ability outside the established circle in the picture above and chew up someone's childhood or entire life trying to fill in that missing place in the cookie cutter that dictates how well one holds their fork. Thank goodness there were no therapists engaged in fixing Einstein - who knows how much we would have lost!

It is important to note that there can be truly disabled people among the Xenos, just as there are among typical people. These disabled Xenos are often labeled "autistic". I am sure you can see the picture in your mind of the cookie-cutter and a small amount of cookie dough stretched out toward some obsession, resulting in very little lying inside the circle. There is some need for therapists and doctors and psychologists for those people, with an understanding that you cannot beat or drug the obsession out of the Xenos, only help channel obsessive behavior toward something positive. A helper's focus can be better set toward expanding existing ability to help the Xenos achieve their potential to go where no normal person could ever go!

Child Development Flashbacks - Exploring my Academic and Philosophical Roots

It was a silly misstep. You are supposed to include every document requested by a potential employer and focus resume information toward the specific position being sought. I did neither.

In this age of electronic application submission, it is too easy to fall into traps of convenience.  One generic resume can be used for a whole swath of positions, at times even at multiple organizations with one click of a mouse button. The inclusion of a cover letter is often optional to submission, but probably should not be. Harried HR departments in some larger organizations must filter through thousands of applications daily and choose to mechanize the process based on a handful of answers to questions or scanned keywords. In this case, I treated a smallish university steeped in more traditional ways in the same fashion that I would approach a highly outsourced HR process at a multinational government contractor. I knew better than to do that and I will likely be discarded out of hand for not following instructions.  The sad part is that, unlike those who send hundreds of applications into the wind, I really wanted to be seriously considered for this specific job.

The Child Development Center (CDC) at Eastern New Mexico University (ENMU) is advertising the position of Director, long held by one of my most influential mentors, Francine Stuckey. I worked as a student caregiver at the CDC from 1988 to 1993, created and ran two centers during that time, was a trainer at a military child care center after graduation and trained myriad others as a program specialist at the ENMU Child Care Training and Technical Assistance Program, and served for a number of years as a subject matter expert and consultant/trainer in child care management, parenting, and public health, concurrent with other employment. In other words, I have been around this block several times and in several capacities. I could also include the fact that my wife and I raised our six children along the way. I last worked directly in the field of child development in 2004 and my earlier undergraduate work focused on this, so I haven't had big and specific child development thoughts for a bit over ten years. Saying that, the ideals I have promoted over time, like family sovereignty, are being dredged back up just as I seem to need them as I present myself as a candidate for post of ENMU CDC Director.

Let me present some thoughts that have come to mind over the last day or two in regards to directing a place like the CDC and leading a community dedicated to child and human development.

I am a home economist at heart and by training - I am practical and I prefer “hands-on” demonstration to other forms of knowledge transfer. I have never been much of a formal "teacher" though I was employed in the role a few times. I have always skewed toward home and family over the school ethos - smaller, more intimate, less institutional, more personal. I relate more toward and better serve people than abstractions like the schooling institution.

My leadership style has always been along the lines of the servant-leader. I run an "input and consensus" shop, knowing that I don't have all the answers, I often miss important elements in a situation, and have learned that the best answers and solutions often come from unexpected people and places. I am much more a leader than a manager with an understanding that the center director is most responsible for crafting the "feel" of the organization, making things work from a regulatory, accreditation, and "get'r done jack-of-all-trades" standpoint. These tasks assigned, caregivers (master and student) can concentrate their time and thought on facilitating children’s development and serving families. To put a "Harry Potter" twist on things - the center director is a "Dumbledore"-type figure who directs and services community rather than formally “teaches” children.

A university Child Development Center is essentially three things - Laboratory, Community, and Environment.

The "Laboratory" - This is our academic purpose (why we are on campus). To be a good lab, we don't just cater to one type of child or family, which other child care settings can better accomplish ("best Hispano-Catholic care anywhere!”). The better child development lab must be more accommodating of different families and attitudes so university students can observe interaction, gain a wider breadth of experience with children of different families and cultures, and test out new theories of fostering development among divergent people. Students do this with children in our care - Instructors (director/master caregivers/mentors) do this with students through coursework and “on-the-job training”.

The "Community" - This is the voluntary collection of families that are served in a communitarian way. We serve families directly and through their children in our care. In this way, the center bears little resemblance to the compulsory catchment and attendance “school” where parents have little choice in associations and little influence in the institutional function. The center director spends as much time opening up possibilities for parents as they do working with the children - the family is the most important unit of society and the Community must honor and service this.  In the case of child development, parents choose a Community (center) that works best for them and best “fits” their family and their culture.

The "Environment" - 'You call this a "pre-school" and I will instruct you differently (hopefully without violence).' We have no “teachers”, a role which implies the centrality of lessons and methods where children are passive consumers or followers. Here, caregivers create and foster an environment where children lead the way, patterned more after a safe, orderly home rather than a "school" (within our obvious physical constraints). We also don't set up “simulated” environments, we make it as authentic as we can - "play" living rooms and kitchens give way to "working" versions with real equipment for instance. Parents should be able to see this as a place to observe "professional" (well, often student) "child developers" in action and find encouragement, insight, and empowerment toward fostering and leading the development of their own children, often to other settings that may bear little resemblance to this center.

Priority for the hiring of workers is given to CDC is CD/ECE students. After this, we encourage a breadth of background, knowledge, and experience put in service to the Community.

Guiding Principles and "Promises" that Hold Sway in a Nemrow-led Shop:

• We put other people’s needs ahead of our own.
• We owe it our Family and our Community to be our better selves.
• We work to create a safe place for growth.
• We discover and honor contributions (efforts that improve your Family and your Community).
• We help others realize their potential and build toward it.
• We make decisions to be helpful and not hurtful.
• We explore the balance between roots (safety, order, heritage) and wings (unbridled expression/action, "pioneering", taking risks).
• We honor and foster individuality and each family culture within our Community.
• We present alternatives. Maybe this situation and Community isn't for you and your family, and this fact is okay.  
• We leave it better than we found it (and not just our personal definition of "better").

Brexit, a Blow to Social Engineering, and the Return of Family Sovereignty

It is amazing to watch the scramble happening around the referendum decision in Britain to separate itself from the European Union. I listen to the BBC as Lisa and I wake most mornings and the accusations and fear-mongering from many directions on the question has finally been settled. I, for one, am excited to see any people declare themselves the masters of their own destinies and free to choose their own course! Hurray for the British people!

Some thirty years ago, I was revealed as a bit of a radical as a college student when I was "outed" as a liberty-minded person. Many of my "sisters" in the home economics department were preparing for careers in "human services", "social work", or "education", mostly the bastion of the high-minded who believe that most people are incompetent to run their own lives and must be "managed" by educated "experts". I rejected this idea and came up with my own ideal worldview. I garnered a lot of strange looks from my peers but was lucky to have interested and encouraging mentors and professors. My fellow students saw the world separated into two groups: the managed mass of people and those who manage the mass. Of course, we were all in college to qualify for the position of the manager of others. I was a bit odd for saying that people should be free to associate and act as they chose - basically, I preach that everyone should have the opportunity to be either unmanaged by others or choosing their own management.

Over the years, I formulated an idea that I call family sovereignty. I realized that "rugged individualism", one of the hallmarks of the American experience, was a bit of falsehood and saw that individual people cannot be truly independent - they need other people to get along well and be fully realized. I also saw that collecting people into homogenized "communities" or "societies" has become the road to dehumanization and a domineering few "lording over" a repressed many through legislated governance and social controls. People need other people, but how do we provide maximum liberty and minimum tyranny? The solution that I found and still promote these days is the procreative family and the concept of family sovereignty.

My preaching on this subject is this:

• Be a supportive member of your family by bringing honor to your parents and ancestors, and "lifting" each family member toward their potential.
• Form your own procreative family by marrying, conceiving/bearing/raising children within that marriage, and looking to each other for fulfilling your needs.
• Put the needs of your family members before your personal desires, especially as a parent.

It has been rightly said that the family is the basic unit of society. However, larger constructs (community, state, nation) and their institutions (corporations, schools, governments) have developed an attitude about the powerful social force that families can be:  either bend the family to service outside forces (example: "full-day schools") or weaken the family so individual family members can be dominated by outside forces (example: promotion of gay/single lifestyles). Agencies that claim to "help" families often do the exact opposite by training them to run to social workers or other "experts" to solve internal family problems instead of discovering their own answers. If other interests can break potentially strong families into dis-unified and relatively weak individual people, those individuals will come running to corporations, schools, and governments to help them meet their needs, often only to become practical slaves to these institutions. The basic unit of society (family) needs to become the most important and central group in any individual's life!

Brexit is a wonderful example of a smaller group taking back sovereignty over their lives from a larger entity. I already see that Scotland and even beloved Shetland are considering afresh their independence and ability to chart their own course. The idea of managing yourself and choosing your own associations, rather than having someone else choose for you, is getting traction in a big way and that is exciting to a liberty-minded fellow like myself!  Someday, I hope this attitude will rise to the point where families will realize their inherent strength and power, choose to stand up to domineering institutions, and chart a course that works best for their family and family members.  Hail, Brexit! 

Re-editing Posts in the Wake of Orlando

You might think that I am here to tone down some of my previous words about LGBT(Q) "harlots" in the wake of the recent rampage at an Orlando gay bar. If anything, I went back to re-edit old posts to sharpen up my point that such attitudes and activities spend our cultural strength, run everyone down a cultural rat-hole, and waste resources and time we should be using to solve more deserving problems.

On an individual level, the shooting of so many people in Orlando is very tragic. No one deserves to die for simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My heart goes out to families and friends that were truly touched by this despicable act.

I don't think we could have predicted a mass-shooting at a gay bar (never happened before), but what will happen next? Will LGBT(Q) cheerleaders demand larger gatherings that are better policed with more public funds? I daresay they will, if their craving for attention and their need to dominate conversation holds steady. They are loving partners with the anti-gun lobby, forces that would have everyone strip-searched at multiple opportunities each day, and those who use fear to oppress and subject everyone to the will of powerful interest groups. When the LGBT(Q) "prostitutes" come around, you must look about for their political "pimps" and the goals of these spin-doctors that profit off of the terror that incidents like Orlando create.

Orlando has become a wonderful opportunity for profiteers as professional "mourners".  I would look for more attention being demanded from excited LGBT(Q) leaders and their convenient friends. The anti-gun lobby and anti-family forces are secretly cheering the carnage as they first weep and then get indignant on-camera. You and I are being manipulated and forced down the convenient rat-holes once again by media-hogging harlots.  Thanks to the interest groups, Orlando has been cast as another battle in a handful of larger culture wars - why are we surprised when some professed cultural warrior decides to bring guns to the battle?

Becoming an Authorized Priesthood Holder

I have written a few times (here and here) about the duties of priesthood holders and some might be feeling a bit left out.

Some people get hung up about Christian rites they have done in the past that God and his authorized priesthood don't recognize.  "Why do I need to be baptized again?"  It is simple - if you don't fulfill God's prerequisites, you don't get the priesthood. It is like wanting to make a fine wine but getting weird about crushing grapes in a certain way - You want the results? You have to do what is required!

Any man can qualify to be considered for priesthood ordination. I have not heard of any qualified man being rejected, only those not who choose not to meet the qualifications.

Please understand that I don't slight the role of women in God's plan:  they have the higher calling of motherhood that is built into their very bodies. Priesthood is something given to men as one compensation for their basic lack of in-born child-bearing and nurturing ability. I also won't go into it - you can read about the subject here if you like.

The priesthood is the power of God. An ordination gives this power to men to act in God's name and do what God would do. Scripture is replete with instruction on how the priesthood should be used and what sort of man you need to be to exercise priesthood power. It is the pursuit and study of a lifetime (and longer) to develop yourself into a worthy and powerful priesthood holder.  This is neither a casual nor a easy road to travel - God also puts those who accept priesthood responsibilities under covenant to rise to the challenge of it, proscribing great rewards for your efforts and punishments for a man's neglect of it. It is a very serious undertaking.

The whole purpose of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) in relation to men is to imbue them with increasing priesthood responsibility and a greater call to service, leading to the ultimate goal of become like God. All men are welcome to worship with us, but one must understand that we are about the goal: if a man is not interested in taking on priesthood duties and becoming like God ultimately, the LDS Church may be an uncomfortable place for that man. Though every man has the opportunity of taking on himself the priesthood, rejection of it is indicative of a man unwilling to fundamentally better himself, to walk a higher road, and to perform more meaningful and efficacious service to others as a life-long commitment.

Don't get me wrong - I honor all service performed by everyone in any capacity. However, to have the added spiritual ability afforded by having and honoring the priesthood is like having a hammer at a roofing "party": there is plenty of good work to do when putting on a roof if you don't have a hammer with you, but you could perform the central work of roofing better if you had that hammer and were experienced in wielding it! Likewise, having the priesthood and experience in using it effectively makes you so much more useful in God's larger work. Wouldn't you like to be such a man?

So, what are the steps for men to become authorized priesthood holders?

1. Contact missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints - chances are you see the familiar white-shirt-and-tie wearing bicycle riders that are Mormon missionaries.  Flag them down and invite them to your home.  If an on-line "flag-down" is more to your liking, you can click here and chat with someone who will set up a visit for you!
2. Qualify to be baptized by an LDS priest - you will need to be a part of several lessons regarding Latter-Day Saint doctrine and practice, read parts of the Book of Mormon, and act on spiritual challenges to embrace a handful of good practices and eliminate certain unholy ones.  If you still desire baptism and meet the requirements, the ordinance will be arranged for you by missionaries and local priesthood leaders.
3. Receive the Aaronic Priesthood and fulfill its duties - Shortly after baptism and the additional ordinance of receiving "the gift of the Holy Ghost", men are typically ordained as priests in the preparatory Priesthood of Aaron and given responsibilities during sacrament meeting (the LDS worship service) and to help with "home teaching" (priesthood visits to families in their homes), among other assignments.
4. Receive the Melchizedek Priesthood - After some months, your dedication to fulfilling the duties of a priest are reviewed by priesthood leadership and, if satisfactory, you will be offered an ordination to the office of an Elder in the higher Melchizedek Priesthood. Elders fulfill several functions in the LDS Church, conduct meetings where assigned, may be assigned local priesthood leadership roles, and provide priesthood leadership within their families and other assigned families through home teaching.

For those of you who desire to serve God and your fellow man with the enhanced authority and power that the authorized priesthood provides, I hope you use those desires to qualify yourselves for it and join our ranks!

Pointers to Some Interesting Things

Every once in a while, I point people to some of the interesting things available on the Internet that I have either produced or enjoy.

There are a handful of podcasts that I listen to and get inspiration from.  Maybe you will like them as well.

http://www.econtalk.org/ - Econtalk is hosted by Russ Roberts, a libertarian-leaning economist, who interviews other intellectuals on a variety of topics, not just economics.

http://www.dancarlin.com/ - Both of these podcasts, Hardcore History and Common Sense, are absolute gems on History and current events.  Both end up being occasional recordings, but always worth it.

http://3950.net/3950-and-the-liberty-net/ - This is actually the recording of a weekly ham radio net that has been going on for over four decades. Hard-core conservatism (way beyond me) and just wacky news and commentary from regular ham operators.  The absolute opposite of "production quality" broadcasting.

http://longnow.org/seminars/ - Just when you think you have me pegged, I also listen to the podcast straight from one of the Merry Pranksters and folks that made Berkeley and San Francisco libertine - hippies all grown up.  No more LSD (maybe), but hard-core neo-liberalism just the same.

I write other things besides silly blog posts.  I used to style myself a fiction writer.

The Miracle of the Quilt - Still my most popular and published short story, available for free and on Amazon.

Rachel and Her Knight in Shining Armor - My wife Lisa's favorite novella, the pinnacle of my Great Writing Year of 1998.

Navigiary: Escape is my first novel-length fiction story, actually the first part of a trilogy that I haven't further worked on in a while.  Maybe a few sales will give my initiative to finish Part Two and Three!

Feel free to enjoy one or all of the these!

"May We Bless Your Home?" - Matthew 10:13

I hope I don't alienate too many of my readers in addressing some thoughts that came out of The Things that Constitute A Good (Religious) Visit blog post and various scripture "jags" posts. I am a priesthood leader in the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, so I blog about insights that come from my work there alongside more quasi-secular things like The Psychic Proximity Principle. There is significant value in perspectives gained in one area of endeavor that can be applied to another, so I always hope my non-Mormon readers can find these posts of some value.

In chapter 10 of the book of Matthew in the Bible, Jesus gave his twelve apostles priesthood authority and sent them out to preach and do the miracles that they had seen him perform.  As part of his instructions, he told these disciples to do the following as they visited the homes of believers as they traveled:

Matthew 10:13

And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you.

I am a descendant of Aaron, the brother of Moses, who was ordained, along with his male progeny called the kohenim, to lead the Levitical and Aaronic priesthoods. My resulting family heritage includes the reciting of the priestly blessing in certain settings.  At its conclusion, this blessing states this:  "May the LORD lift up His face unto you and give you peace..."  I personally connect these "peace" references together - if you are in a worthy house, or are visiting a worthy family (I interpret this as being welcomed in the home and the family being accepting of your spiritual message), you should leave "your peace" (or your priesthood blessing) with them.

As a home teacher, priesthood holders are commissioned by the local bishop and the quorum leader to serve their assigned families. This service is meant to keep each family diligent to their covenants, help them to progress toward exaltation, and to bring the power of the priesthood into their lives. As part of that service, bearers of the priesthood should leave their blessing ("your peace") wherever they visit. You holders of the priesthood should always offer to leave a blessing on the home and the family before you leave a visit.  As a bearer of the Melchizedek Priesthood, it is your duty to bless the homes you enter as permitted by the head of the household.

Here are my suggestions on pronouncing a blessing on a family and their home:

• Seek inspiration in what words of blessing to give.
• Respect the head of the household. Offer to give a blessing and accept their choice regarding this. If they request specific blessings, honor that request within the inspiration you receive.
• Personalize the blessing to those you bless and their circumstances.
• State that this is a blessing and state your priesthood authority, similar to the way you would do so in an ordination.
• State that all blessings are contingent on faith and worthiness.

As I have personally done this, I have found my power in the exercise of the priesthood has increased and I have be inspired with the words of blessing that the LORD desires to be said. I have also found that the families that I bless are strengthened in their desire and ability to obey the commandments of God and grow more worthy of further blessings. I know that you will also have needed inspiration as you prepare yourself to receive it and share it more often in the form of a home teacher's blessing to those you serve.