I am tired. I find myself bored with my present life and the person I am right now. I have a fine, fine job and I work alongside wonderful people, but I need to be doing more. I need to become more and I am reasonably sure that this is also what God expects from me. I hope you readers don't consider this a "cocky" statement as I consider it an indictment of my lack of activity in the area of rising to my potential. I have no idea what that potential is, but I have not be making much of an effort toward discovering it. I want to begin to rectify that, starting right now.
Every Sunday, we hold a family council and a bit of a "home evening" with whatever family members are available. During the council, each family member has an opportunity to ask a question, present a concern, or make a comment. Last Sunday, during my time to do "questions, concerns, or comments", something popped into my head and, after only a moment or two of thought, I commented that I wanted to share a personal goal. With all the insight of a minute or two, I said:
"I want to celebrate my fiftieth birthday in London."
That may sound silly and totally unrealistic, especially given our family finances, but that is because you are likely not aware of the context of my statement. Please allow me to tell a little about what almost unconsciously informed this goal.
Ever since my children were small, I have thought and spoke "internationally", which is to say that I dreamed of far-away places and things. What would it be like to live in one foreign country or another? What places would be most possible for us to go? What different cultures or languages would we have to understand to function well there? Coupled with a total inability not to keep my thoughts to myself, I shared these questions and my research toward answering them with my family. Over time, I began to see that some of my children were being affected. My older daughter took it upon herself to teach herself Hebrew and to look forward to visiting and perhaps living in Israel which is not an inconsistent thing to do as both she and I share a Jewish heritage. My younger daughter dreams of someday living in Italy and enjoying the beauty and art of that place. Though my other children have so far expressed no desire to travel or live internationally, I would not be surprised if they quietly dream of such things or, at the very least, are familiar enough with locations outside of the USA to be far above the local average in a world geography exams.
When I was a younger man, I left a wonderful yet boring job and went to sea, getting a position as a seismic navigator hunting for oil. It was an interesting two years, floating in the Gulf of Mexico and off the coast of west Africa. Although I became familiar with various airports in exotic places, I took little opportunity to explore past being an airline passenger in the international terminal. Although such travels whetted my appetite, it did nothing to address my hunger.
Unfortunately, outside of dreaming and flying a bit, I had not yet really taken my own advice. I was encouraging my chlidren, but I was not being an example of someone who works toward the goal and accomplishes it.
I need to do a better job.
So, I don't know exactly how I will get myself working in London and in what capacity, but I have taken the first step to making it happen. I have my passport updated and all my credentials in as much order as I can. I am already interviewing with the company I worked for internationally over a decade ago and I hope they hire me and get my foot back into door of foreign travel. It really helps to be there even occasionally when you want to live and work there. It is also far easier to get transferred to London with a company than to get a job there as a non-resident non-citizen. If I want help, especially from God, I will need to show everyone that I am willing to do as much as I can to make it happen myself.
I will likely keep you readers informed on how it goes.